This week, we said goodbye to my Grandma Reiffenberger – or Grandma in the Blue House, as we used to call her when we were little. We knew this day was coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m not sure you can ever truly prepare yourself to lose a loved one. She was an incredibly special lady, and she’ll be leaving an awfully big hole in a lot of hearts.
She was put on hospice almost two weeks before she passed and I’m glad I was able to go down to Sioux Falls and see her a few times during that window. She was really weak and wasn’t able to say much, but she didn’t have to. I took turns with my dad and other family members sitting beside her and holding her hand and trying to reassure her that she wasn’t alone.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few weeks thinking about all the memories I made with my grandma, and I’d love to share some of my favorite ones here.
When we were little, we always looked forward to Reiffenberger Christmas at grandma and grandpa’s house. My dad has six siblings, and that side of the family has definitely multiplied over the years! We fit a lot of people into grandma and grandpa’s basement for the holidays, and it was crazy and loud, but it was so fun. It was one of the only times during the year where we all got together at the same time, ate good food, and enjoyed each other’s company. I looked forward to it every year.
I remember one year, I told my grandma I really liked her deviled eggs. I liked all her cooking, but those deviled eggs – yum!! The next Christmas, she had set aside a small plate of deviled eggs and said they were all for me. She was really good about remembering details like that, and making sure everyone felt special.
My grandma LOVED playing card games. She’s the one who taught me how to play Poker and 31, and thank goodness we only ever played with pennies or nickels, because she would have bankrupted me! I can still hear her now – “I’m going to beat the pants off of you!”
We had a lot of heart to heart conversations over card games, and cracked a lot of jokes as well. My dad has her sense of humor, so for anyone who knows my dad, I’m sure you can imagine it well! There were plenty of “laugh until you cry” moments.
It might seem a bit random, but every single time I drink iced coffee, I think of my grandma. One time when I was in high school, my dad and I were in Sioux Falls for the day so we went to visit her, and we had stopped at Starbucks first. I had an iced coffee and when she saw it, so goes, “what is that?”
Me: “It’s iced coffee.”
Grandma: “Iced coffee?”
Me: “Yeah, it’s just regular coffee. Except it’s cold.”
Grandma: “It’s cold? Do you want to throw it in the microwave and warm it back up?”
I thought it was the funniest thing! I had to explain to her I bought it cold on purpose and she thought I was so silly. It’s a simple memory, but I still smile every single time I think of it.
My grandma was also a big Bingo fan. Even in the nursing home, she was big on Bingo. Looking back, I really do wish I had gotten the opportunity to play with her more often. I remember the last time I was able to go play with her though. It’s still one of my favorite memories with her. I was flying home from college and was planning to stay at her house for the night. My uncle picked me up from the airport and said grandma was at Bingo, he could either drop me off at her house and I could wait for her, or he could drop me off at Bingo. I said heck yeah, take me to Bingo!
Once I found my grandma, I ran right up to her and said “Surprise!” She got the biggest smile on her face and jumped up and gave me a big hug. She immediately got me some Bingo cards so I could play with her, and I’m pretty sure she told every single person that walked by that I was her granddaughter and was home from college visiting. It was a lot of fun.
While I was at college, my grandma wrote to me a lot. We were almost like pen pals for a while, and I’d write to her any chance I got. Not only was it great to hear from her, but it was super exciting getting fun mail being on my own for the first time. By the time she went to the nursing home, I started calling her every week. I knew the nursing home could be lonely and I wanted to make sure she was doing okay, so I was more than happy to check in with her as often as I could. She was always there for me, it was the least I could do.
For about the last year or so, her memory was really starting to fade, and she could no longer remember how to answer the phone on her own. I knew my aunt Mary was with her on Sunday afternoons visiting, so I put a reminder on my phone for 3:30pm every Sunday to give her a call. She’d always tell me how she was “beating the pants off of Mary” at 31 each week! 🙂
On August 16, Dan and I were driving back from Wisconsin and the reminder popped up on my phone. I remember thinking to myself, I’ll just get a hold of her next week. I didn’t want to try and call while we were driving. But something told me to do it anyway and I’m so glad I did. That phone call was the last real conversation I had with her. Less than a week later, she had gotten sick and was too weak to speak much. It was basically the same conversation I had with her every week, but it was the last time I got to hear her say, “you’re pretty special, sweetie, you know that?” She said that to all of her kids, grandkids, and loved ones. “You’re pretty special.”
SHE was pretty special, and I’m going to miss her terribly.
The other day I sent a picture of my plant that’s sitting in my office to my dad. It’s part of a plant that was at my grandpa’s funeral 12 years ago. It grew to be so big, it was broken up into several plants, and I was able to keep one. I told my dad it rarely blooms more than once a year, but last week a second bloom started to appear. This week, it popped open and it’s the biggest bloom I’ve ever seen on it. I’m taking it as a sign that my grandpa’s telling me grandma made it to him. They’re together again and everything is going to be okay.
It’s going to be weird not talking to her every week. I’m going to miss her so much, but I’m so glad she isn’t in pain anymore. I’m glad she’s reunited with my grandpa, and I hope she’s looking down on all of us and keeping an eye on us. And I hope she knows how loved she is.
Hug your loved ones, y’all. Like I’ve said before, you can never tell someone you love them too many times.
I love you, grandma, and I’ll see you again someday. 🙂
Until next time,
Megan Nelson