What is my Passion?

I\’ve been doing a lot of thinking this week, and I could use some advice/words of encouragement/words of wisdom/insight – whatever you want to call it, on a very important issue. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. There I said it. I\’m 24 years old with a college degree and I still don\’t know what I want to do with my life. Is this normal? Shouldn\’t I know by now?? Even going through school, I changed my major four times because I couldn\’t decide what I wanted to do. I have a Marketing degree, and some experience working with marketing, and I like it, but I\’m struggling to convince myself that it is something that will make me happy in the long run.

I\’ve been thinking this for a while, but even more so this week because I\’ve had a lot of free time and I\’ve used that time to look for job openings that I could apply to. Not because I don\’t like my current job, I do; but for those who don\’t know what I do, I am a Support Specialist at the Department of Energy. Basically, I\’m a glorified secretary. It\’s an easy job and I love the people I work with, but this is not where I see myself ending up. This job was meant to be just that: a job. I was unemployed for two months and I needed SOMETHING to pay the bills. Now, I\’ve applied to a few openings here and there, but I\’m really struggling to find anything that even interests me enough to apply to it. Part of me thinks that the job I had before the one I have now really turned me away from marketing. I worked at a market research firm before, and I liked the work that I did there – when I had work to do. I wasn\’t given a lot of work because I didn\’t have a lot of experience and even though I asked for help, no one really made the time to teach me anything. That\’s what makes me nervous about applying to similar jobs, because I do not want to end up in a similar situation. So I\’m scared!!!

While I think it would be nice to find another marketing job that I like, I think about whether it\’s something that I would still enjoy doing 20-30 years from now, and my answer is that I just don\’t know. Someone told me once to find something you\’re passionate about, and figure out how to make money doing it. Life will never be boring that way. And while I LIKE marketing, is it my PASSION? I don\’t know. Maybe it could be, but right now I\’m just not sure. 

I said a few months back in a different blog post, that I\’d really like to be a writer someday. Right now, I believe THAT is my passion. And while I am working very hard at it and putting a lot of time into my writing, I\’m realistic enough to know that it may never go anywhere. And while I try to stay optimistic and tell myself if I work hard enough and learn from my mistakes, that I can make a writer out of myself, I still doubt myself. What if it does never happen? Will I be forced to give up my passion and just settle for something else? I don\’t want that either. I want to wake up each morning looking forward to the day ahead of me instead of just trying to get through to the weekend every week. 

So, as you can see, I\’m worried, scared, and super stressed out. I don\’t know what to do and I\’m really wishing the answer would just appear in front of me. I\’ve been praying, and will continue to pray for guidance and patience, but any words of encouragement are also welcomed! If anyone else is in the same boat, reach out to me, we can brainstorm together.

Until Next Time!

Megan Reiffenberger