To Lose Patience is to Lose the Battle

Patience is always something I have struggled with in the past. When I want something, I don\’t want to wait for it, I want it ASAP. Whatever \”it\” is, I want it done, or I want it to be here already, or I want it given to me, or achieved, whatever. I just want it now. I\’ve lost track of how many times throughout my childhood — and if I\’m honest, throughout my adulthood too — that my parents told me \”Megan, we can\’t drop what we are doing and do this right now, you need to be patient.\” I like to think I\’ve become much more patient the more grown and mature I\’ve become, but sometimes my patience grows very thin, and I start to crack.

This week as a whole, was one of those times! My mantra this week seemed to be: \”Chill out. Be patient. Chill out. Be patient.\” I found myself muttering those words to myself a lot this week, and I don\’t think it was really any one thing. It was a build up of multiple things, and I couldn\’t be patient anymore. I was going to lose my mind if something didn\’t change soon.

Between babysitting, looking for jobs, trying to figure out unemployment payments, trying to get myself to sit down and work on my book, waiting for Dan to come home from farming, trying to understand why I still can\’t see my siblings after so many weeks…the list just doesn\’t seem to end. My cup was full, and I couldn\’t take anymore.

Fortunately, Thursday I didn\’t have to work, so I took a lot of time to catch up on sleep, and think. I did a lot of thinking. Yes, there\’s a lot on my plate right now, but some things are already starting to come through, and others, I just need to keep reminding myself to be patient.

I\’m really excited that there are more job opportunities opening up every day, positions that I am finally qualified for and interested in; and I\’m happy to say that one job I applied for even brought me back for a round two interview. So keep your fingers crossed for me! It doesn\’t mean I have a job, but it\’s a step in the right direction and it\’s the best I\’ve felt about work in over a month. Along with more job opportunities, my unemployment claim was FINALLY approved last week, and I started getting my funds this week. Let me tell you, that was a huge weight taken off my shoulders right there.

As for the other things I\’ve got on my list, I just need patience – and a lot of it. Don\’t get me wrong on the babysitting thing. I\’ve come to really enjoy seeing these kids every day. But sometimes it\’s hard to be patient with them, especially since I am helping them with their online homework assignments. Sometimes it\’s hard to remember that just because something seems obvious and simple to me, it\’s not that simple to an eight-year-old. I just need to keep reminding myself to take a deep breath, and be patient.

Finally, it\’s hard to have a lot going on and not have the people you care about most around. Obviously, I still see my parents almost every day, and that\’s been a huge lifesaver, but I haven\’t seen Dan in over week, and I haven\’t seen my brother or my sister and brother-in-law in several weeks, and it can be hard not to be around them. That goes for not stressful times too! I don\’t like going this long without seeing these guys. Thank goodness for technology, or I\’d really be losing my mind. I just keep reminding myself though, that it sucks now, but distance makes the heart grow fonder. It will be one heck of a reunion when I can see them all again.

I\’m sure I\’m not the only one struggling to keep it cool during this time. In fact, I know I\’m not the only one struggling, and I\’m certain there\’s plenty of people out there who have it harder than I do. This is a weird time for everyone, and I hope anyone who is struggling right now can take some time for themselves. Reach out to loved ones, even if it\’s just a phone call or a text message. Do something! If you have no one to reach out to, reach out to me. I may not be able to help, but I\’ll listen and I\’ll do whatever I can. If we can be patient, I know we can get through to the other side. It\’s got to get better eventually!

Also, for anyone wondering, Dobby is back to his happy self. He\’s finished taking his medicine, and he hasn\’t limped much at all in almost a week now. We even went for a short little jog on Thursday, and he did great! I\’m certainly glad that\’s one thing I don\’t need to stress about anymore 🙂

Hope everyone has a wonderful week coming up.

Until next time! 🙂

Megan Reiffenberger