Let It Go.

This week I have had a lot of time to think. Possibly too much time to think – which isn\’t always a good thing. I\’ve always known myself to do this, but I am now admitting it out loud: I waste way too much of my life overthinking every scenario I\’m put in, and I spend way too much time worrying about past events instead of focusing on the present and the future. One thing Dan said to me this week really stood out to me, and I know I need to work harder at living in the present, and not over analyze every little thing that happens to me.

Earlier this week, Dan was over for dinner and he called me a bum because I was in my laziest pair of sweatpants, had napped half the afternoon, and probably looked like a mess. Let\’s be honest, I WAS being a bum, but I know he was just joking around with me. Instead of taking it as a joke though, I thought about how my last boyfriend used to make fun of how I dressed and how he always told me I should dress better. So, with this in mind, I sat on Dan\’s comment for a day or two and stewed over every possible meaning behind it until I finally asked him what he meant by it.

He confirmed that he was only messing with me and that I shouldn\’t have taken it so seriously – he has no problem with the way I dress. I explained to him the situation from my last relationship and he told me: \”Megan, you can\’t judge me based on what someone else did to you in the past.\” And he\’s 100000% right. This relationship is nothing like the last one and I can\’t constantly be psyching myself out thinking that\’s what this is going to turn into. I know I have a good guy this time around, and it\’s time to leave the past where it belongs.

Something else I\’ve spent a good amount of time thinking about this week, is my upcoming start date for my new job. I now have less than a week to go before my first day, and I am so unbelievably excited to get this new journey started. However, a part of me is also a little hesitant given my past experience with losing jobs.

After I lost my job the first time, I was pissed off. I was ready to prove to the world that I could get a newer, better job quickly, and prove how good of an employee I could be when given a real chance. But the second time I lost my job, I\’ll be honest, I felt a little defeated. I still remind myself all the time that neither time I lost my job was my fault, but it also feels like it\’s becoming a pattern. I\’m so worried that I\’m going to get into this job and absolutely love it, and then downsizing happens, or some stupid pandemic wrecks havoc on everything, and I find myself unemployed once more.

But then the thing Dan said to me earlier this week about not judging him based on people from my past came back into my mind. It felt kind of fitting for this situation, too. I can\’t waste so much time dwelling on things that happened in the past. Did it suck that I lost a job twice? Heck yeah it did. Does that mean it\’s going to happen this time, or really any other time in my future? No! It doesn\’t mean that at all. Going into a new adventure with the idea that I am going to fail, or that it\’s not going to last, is going to get me nowhere. All that\’s going to do is make me constantly worried about something that may never even happen, and I don\’t have time for that.

So, starting now, I am going to pay more attention to letting the past go. I am not going to dwell on little things like what my boyfriend thinks about the way I dress. If I don\’t know what someone means when they say something to me, I will come right out and ask them instead of working myself up over it. I\’ve said it before, and I\’ll say it again: life is too short to be stressing about things you can\’t change.

We should all take a piece of advice from Queen Elsa, and just Let It Go. (Sorry, not sorry if that song is stuck in your head now, tehe.)

Hope everyone has a good week coming!

Until next time! 🙂

Megan Reiffenberger