Since I’ve been back home, my dad has had me doing a lot of work outside so I can earn some money while I look for a job. This week, I was working on painting one of our garages. It’s a three stall garage and pretty big, so it took me several hours to work on it. During this time, I had lots of time to think about everything that’s been going on lately.

One of the things I thought a lot about was my past relationship. For the first few weeks after we broke up, I was very torn about whether I was making the right decision or not. After spending a lot of time with Molly and Tanner for the last few weeks, and seeing how they act around each other, I’m no longer doubting that I made the right decision.

I’ve seen how the two of them support each other through everything, help each other out with things around the house, and how they constantly make the effort to spend time together even though they don’t yet live together. That’s what I want out of a relationship, and looking back, I now realize I didn’t really have that.

I lived with my boyfriend, and it was like a chore trying to spend time together. I remember how good it felt when I was able to get him to eat dinner or watch a movie with me, because then I felt like he actually wanted to spend time with me. We would go out occasionally, but if it was something I was interested in doing and he wasn’t, it was like pulling teeth to get him to come with. It took me too long to realize I shouldn’t have to beg my partner to spend time with me.

For those who know Molly well, know she’s had her struggles with school over the last two years, and that her plans have changed quite a bit due to some setbacks. Even though it was a challenge for both of them, Tanner was still supportive of Molly, and continues to be as school absorbs a lot of her free time.

When I lost my job last year and took the job at the Department of Energy, my boyfriend was anything but supportive. I spent all day, every day applying for jobs for two months, and this job was the first one to offer me the position. The pay was good, and I was ready to get back to work, so I took it. He didn’t like that I was going to be a secretary, and tried to convince me not to take it and keep looking. When I got upset and asked if he’d rather I stayed unemployed than take this job, he said no, but then said he wasn’t going to tell any of his friends what I did for work because it embarrassed him.

That really hurt me when he said that, and it should have been a major red flag at the time. But I was so in love with him, I hoped he would get over it and support me. He did eventually apologize for what he said, but his attitude toward my job never really changed. I’ll be the first to admit that the job wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do for a career; but it paid better than the last job, and it was in a place where I could potentially grow and learn some new things. All I wanted was support from my boyfriend for getting back out there and trying to get back to work.

These – along with many other things – are a few examples of how my past relationship went. It really took a toll on me, because I cared so much about this guy, and wanted so badly to make it work that I was willing to put up with all of this. When my mom came to get me to drive back to South Dakota, she told me that my self-esteem took a serious beating over the last few months, and she’s never seen me so low. Part of that was from some other aspects of my life, but I won’t disagree that relationship was a big part of it.

I wanted to write all of this in case anyone else is having relationship issues. Molly has been telling me that Tanner treats her like a queen and that’s how it should be. If your significant other doesn’t want to spend time with you, or is always putting you down, then it’s time to end that relationship. It’s hard, I know. But everyone deserves someone who will make them happy! I’ve learned from this relationship, and I’m excited to see what else life has in store for me.

Until next time!

Megan Reiffenberger