Alright, I’ve gotta get something off my chest this week because it’s been something I’ve been thinking about for a while and maybe I’ll feel better once I’ve written it all down. 

It seems this week that between talking to my very pregnant sister and hangin out with my little nephew; watching shows and listening to podcasts that just happen to be talking about pregnant women; to hearing everyday talk about my friends talking about their kids – it’s evident the theme of motherhood has been very prevalent this week. 

And if you know me, you know that being a mom is something I’ve always wanted to be. 

Before I get any further into this, I feel the need to make it clear that this is not a pregnancy announcement. I am NOT pregnant and don’t plan to be in the immediate future. So don’t be getting excited! 

Anyway, I’ve always, always wanted to be a mom. I haven’t changed my mind on that, but I’m almost a little afraid to admit how terrified I am of becoming a mom at the same time. I’ve never really felt that fear before, but ya know, Dan and I are getting very serious about making plans to get married and have kids in the very near future. And it’s never felt so real and so within my grasp before now, and I think it’s sinking in that I could be having kids of my own in the not so far away future. 

And for those of you who know me well also know that I tend to get into my head and overthink EVERYTHING. And lately I’ve been thinking an awful lot about all the ways I could mess up being a mom. 

What if if I’m too harsh or not harsh enough? What if I don’t give them enough space, or give them too much space? 

What if they get hurt and I wasn’t there to stop it? Even watching my nephew, I feel like I have to wrap the kid in bubble wrap because he’s quite clumsy – like most two year olds are – and I want to save him from every spill and every wipe out, even though 99% of the time he pops right back up like nothing happened, I still worry that if I’m not on high alert, something bad will happen. 

I keep telling myself that I can’t protect him from everything, and it’s normal to get bumps and bruises as you master walking. 

I also tell myself that being TOO protective isn’t good either. How do I find that middle ground!? 

And what about all the stories about kids being taken, even when the parents are paying attention and doing everything right?  I know human trafficking happens even in little towns like mine, and it scares the bejeezus out of me. What if I look away for two seconds and they’re gone? It’s not fair that we should even have to worry about something like this, but I know we unfortunately do. 

It has to be normal to have thoughts like this, and I can’t be the only one who’s a little terrified. Right?? 

Y’all have any tips? Like I said, it’ll be at least a couple years before I actually have kids, but you can never be too prepared. Any advice, peace of mind, or words of wisdom you want to pass along would be greatly appreciated. 

Thank you in advance and I hope everyone is staying nice and cool out there! 

Until next time! 🙂 

Megan Reiffenberger