This week, I want to talk about something that I’ve always struggled with for as long as I can remember – and I KNOW many of you reading this have too. And that is my constant need to want to be liked by everyone. I am a people pleaser by nature, and I’ve always felt that the world would end if someone didn’t like me. I would tell myself all the time: “If they would just get to know me, they’d like me!” But guess what? There are going to be people who, even when they get to know me, are still not going to like me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

It’s no different than what I tell myself about my book: It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, some people will love it, and others won’t. Well, unfortunately, I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea either, and I’m finally starting to come to terms with it.

I saw this quote a few days ago, and it definitely made me stop and think. I’ve spent so much time focusing on just the right thing to say or do that will make people like me, that I’ve often strayed from who I really am as a person in hopes they’ll like the version of me I’ve created. It’s exhausting this way! If being my unapologetic self is going to lose me friends, then maybe I should have never been friends with them in the first place.

I don’t need to seek external approval or acceptance from other people.

That line hit me hard. I’ve often found myself doing something with the thoughts: “Will so and so be proud of me if I do this?” “Will they be disappointed in me if I do this instead?” or “What will they think of me if I do this?” I know it’s easier said than done, but at the end of the day, I shouldn’t care about what other people think of my decisions. It matters more if I will be proud of myself for doing something, or if I will be disappointed if I don’t do it. I’m the only one who ultimately has to live with every choice I make, so why do I waste so much energy focusing on what others will think?

Even Dan has told me at least 50 times that I shouldn’t care so much what other people think of me. People are going to judge me no matter what I do, I just need to live my own life and not worry so much about what everyone else thinks. It’s probably going to take him 50 more times of telling me before I’ve fully embraced it, but I do think it’s starting to sink in. From now on, I’m going to live my life without worrying so much about what others think. 

You don’t like me? Fine, your loss.

You think I’m weird? Cool, me too. I’ve learned to live with it. 

You think I’m annoying? Dan does too, but he’s marrying me, so it must not be too bad. 😉 

I’m just going to live my life. If you don’t like it, then I can’t make you stay a part of it. All I ask is that we all be nice to each other. You don’t have to like someone, but you also don’t have to make it known you don’t like someone. Just treat everyone with respect. I’m going to try and do the same.

Until next time! 🙂

Megan Reiffenberger