I had lunch with a friend this week who said she asked her class to think about the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do. And it made me start thinking about how I would answer that question.

At first, I thought maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever done was run a marathon – which don’t get me wrong, is definitely hard! But I don’t know if I can say it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The training made me feel strong, and even though the race itself hurt like a mother trucker, I recovered in a couple days and didn’t even hesitate to sign up to do it again.

Deciding that wasn’t it, I then thought that moving out to Virginia by myself was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t know anyone and barely knew the area – who wouldn’t find that hard? But all my memories of those first weeks and months on my own were all good memories. Sure, there were times where I got a little overwhelmed, but for the most part, I learned my way around quickly and hit it off with people right away. I never actually felt alone. So, that couldn’t have been it either.

Finally, I realized the hardest thing I’ve ever done was come back from Virginia. People ask me all the time why I decided to come back to South Dakota and I usually tell them I just got homesick. Which is partially true, but even more truthfully, I left because I was running away from what my life had become.

I was stuck in a bad relationship and I knew if I stayed, it would be even harder for me to claw my way out. I had started to accept that I was going to settle for less than I deserved, because I actually believed for a while that I didn’t deserve anything better than that. He had ingrained in my mind how horrible of a person I was and that I should consider myself lucky that someone like him actually cared about me.

I’ve said all this before, so I won’t go into the nitty gritty details of that shit show.

Anyway, I eventually figured out that none of the things he was saying was true. I wasn’t a horrible person and I did deserve better. So, I broke it off. I quit my job and my mom flew out to drive me home. And even though it ended up being the best possible thing I ever could have done, it was terrifying. I was leaving my friends. I didn’t know if I would stay in Watertown or where I would end up. I didn’t have a job and I had no idea how long it would take me to find another one. I was afraid I really was unlovable and I wouldn’t find anyone. I cried every day for weeks. Looking back, I think I can say without a doubt it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

But you know what!? It led to the best possible outcome! I did stay in Watertown. It didn’t take me more than a couple of weeks to find a job. And even though I’m not at that same job anymore, I’m at a new job that I really like. I have great friends and I found someone who loves me for me. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a really long time.

Sometimes going through those really hard things seems impossible, but it is almost always better on the other side. Hard things make us stronger, and even though life would be a heck of a lot easier without those hard things, that’s just not how life works, unfortunately.

So, I encourage all of you to sit down for a few minutes and figure out what the hardest thing you’ve ever had to was. How did your life change because of it? What did you learn from it? If you’re currently living the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, please hear me when I say it gets better. I know I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I really can’t say it enough: it does get better!! Be patient, and be strong. You’ve got this!

And as always, if there’s anything I can do to help or even just lend a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Until next time! 🙂

Megan Reiffenberger