Can’t Quit Now

August 5, 2022 By Megan Relatable Experiences

As many of you already know, I am waist deep in marathon training right now. As I’m writing this, I’m mentally preparing myself for a 16 mile run in the morning. We are over halfway done with training, the race is less than two months away, and I almost wanted to call it quits this week.

Yep, you heard me. I wanted to quit.

I am so mentally and physically exhausted, I feel like I’m doing nothing but sleeping, working, and working out. As part of the training, we not only have to do a long run on the weekends, but we typically have to do a longer than usual run a couple times a week as well. Lately, we’ve been doing 7 or 8 miles two days a week. And we’ve been doing them before work, so I’ve been getting up before 4:30am multiple times a week. Not to mention it’s been hotter this week, so I’ve tried to start just a touch earlier yet so I can also walk Dobby before work while it’s still somewhat cool outside. By the time Friday rolled around, I was downing coffee like my life depended on it. I was freakin tired, and I hadn’t even done my long run for the week yet.

Anyway, it was Tuesday morning, I had to do the first 8 miler for the week, and my alarm went off at 4:15am. I wanted to cry! I couldn’t even explain to you how much I didn’t want to get up and go run 8 miles that early. And it was supposed to be in the upper 90’s that day, so I knew if I didn’t get it done before work, it wasn’t going to happen. I remember staring in the mirror as I pulled my hair up and asking myself, “is this really worth it??” “why am I putting myself through this again??” I wanted to text my running friends and tell them I was done. I’d had it and I was going back to bed.

But I went anyway. As much as I didn’t want to go, and as much as I really wanted to quit, I knew I’d be even more upset with myself if I gave up.

I’ve already committed over 10 weeks to marathon training. I only have 4 really long runs left – plus two step back weeks. When I think about it like that, it doesn’t seem AS bad. And despite the exhaustion, I feel really strong running. Stronger than I did last year during training, and I really do feel like I can do better than I did last September at the Fargo marathon. But if I quit now, I’ll never know for sure.

Like I said in a blog a couple weeks ago, nothing you do is going to come without hard work! Yes, there is a limit to how much we can do. Even I need to lower my expectations for myself. As much as I would love to train for a marathon, work every day, plus work on my book in the evenings, plus have a social life, plus get 8 hours of sleep, plus get things done around the house, etc. etc. – I have to be honest with myself. There isn’t enough time in the day to do it all!! It’s going to take a little give and take to keep my sanity.

Obviously there are some things I can’t NOT do, like I can’t just stop working for a few weeks, or stop cooking and cleaning. But there are some things I can cut back on. It pains me, but I know my book work may have to take a seat on the back burner for a little while. I’ll probably have time on the weekends, but at least during the week, I just don’t have time. Maybe I strive for 6 or 7 hours of sleep instead of 8. My social time lately has been with the people I run with and eating dinner with Dan. That might just have to be enough for now. At least I’m still interacting with other people!

It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be worth it to say I’ve accomplished something like finishing another marathon. How many people can say they’ve done that?? I’ve just got to tough it out for a few more weeks. And if I can do that, then what’s stopping you from doing that hard thing?! Whatever it is, you can do it. It’s going to be tough, you’re going to have to make some changes, but it won’t last forever. And I promise it’s going to feel really, really good when you reach that goal.