On Friday this week, we had our Non-Traditional Club meeting, where a bunch of Non-Traditional LATC students get together every couple of weeks to hang out and make connections. This week, we only had three of us there and nothing big planned, so we sat back and colored and just talked for a while. The coloring was a great stress-reliever on its own, but some of the conversations we had started to get a little deep, and talking it out seemed to be a good stress-reliever as well. It was me, another co-worker of mine, and a student who were all together, and we quickly learned that this student did not have a very good life growing up. She faced many hardships, and had to jump over several hurdles to get to where she is at now. Despite this, though, she had a very positive attitude and outlook on life. She had every reason to whine, complain, and use these experiences as an excuse, and instead, she told us how she constantly used those experiences as a way to learn about herself and grow. And you could tell she had grown a lot, because she was very wise for a 30-something-year-old.

One topic we got on was about relationships, and I had mentioned that a lot of the people I went to high school with were either married, having babies, or both, and how much I wanted that, too (no pressure or anything, Dan haha!). What she said really stuck with me. She’s been in a relationship with the same guy for over 14 years, and they are only now thinking about finally getting married. She said it was something they talked about earlier on in the relationship, but she didn’t want to rush into anything. She’s glad she took the time to really get to know her partner, develop separate interests and still want to spend time together, and really make sure she was with the right person. Even my co-worker said that life isn’t a race, and everything happens in time. Both of them said they knew people who gave into peer pressure and got married or had kids because all their friends were, and they wished they had waited longer before doing so. I don’t necessarily want to wait 14 more years before getting married, but I’m okay with being patient! I just have to keep reminding myself that all good things come to those who wait.

Another thing she said that stuck with me was that she didn’t realize what her true calling in life was until she was in her 30’s – hence why she’s back in school now. That actually made me feel pretty good, because I’m STILL not 100% sure what my true calling is. Of course, right now I think I want to be a writer, and that’s what I want to do, but how do I know it’s actually going to take off and go anywhere? How do I know that in ten years my calling won’t end up being something else entirely? Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but is this my dream job? Probably not. I don’t necessarily know what my dream job is, and that’s okay.

Anyway, like I said earlier, some parts of the conversation did get much deeper than relationships and jobs. We talked about hardships we’ve faced, and when I walked away from this conversation, I felt bad at first for complaining about some of the stuff I’ve been through, especially after hearing what she had been through. Comparatively, my experiences almost seemed like nothing compared to hers. But they weren’t nothing. Just because they were different, doesn’t mean I didn’t have a reason to be upset or be negatively affected by them. Someone is always going to have it worse than someone else, no matter what the situation is, that’s just how life is. Doesn’t matter what happened, if it upsets you, no one can tell you that you can’t be upset about it.

Overall, from this conversation, I’ve once again had to remind myself not to compare myself to others and what they’ve been through, or are currently going through. Like my co-worker said: there’s no race, and no time limit. Everyone is at their own stage in life. Just because it feels like everyone around me is getting married, buying houses, or finding their dream jobs and moving up in the world, doesn’t mean the stage I’m at isn’t important. I’m happy where I’m at, and I need to enjoy the present instead of constantly striving for what the future will bring. Let this serve as a friendly reminder to all of you as well!

Until next time! 🙂

Megan Reiffenberger